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Life was easy in the Land of Barlain,
Sat beneath the champagne florets, we caught the rain,
Sixty shoals of shiny sturgeon, swam round our feet,
Nibbling at our sunburnt toes for something to eat,
All the drunk and lazy poets, sung out their rhymes,
In the dark and dripping forest, we passed our time,
And we cried out to the moon that night, as it started to fall,
By the time that it got light, we knew we’d lose it all.

Climbing over yonder mountains,
Illuminate the sacred fountain,
Rise from your slumber quickly and face the day,
Cornelius (a scout) is searching,
For discordant beasts and urchins,
A menacing presence pressing upon your mind.

Alone in the craggy hollow,
Cornelius dares to follow,
The ominous constant droning beneath his feet,
Takes a little trip and tumble,
Through thickets of Barlain jungle,
Finds himself staring at the Kookerass.

Fast asleep in death’s cold grip,
Cloven hooves dance to Satan’s cruel whip,
Requiem for the warmth of the sun,
Funeral mass to a clattering drum

Blood clotted to stone, worm rotted to bone,
Beggars both belief, soon outgrown,
Beast is not aware, benevolence repaired,
Diabolic, catastrophic, apocalyptic…


from Lord Gammonshire's Guide to Everyday Sounds, released June 15, 2009
Duncan Gammon: Vocals / Guitar / Mellotron / Theremin / Descant Recorder / Llanbourine
Gaz Williams: Vocals / Guitar / Bass / Kaossilator / Moog / Kabassa
The ‘Sultry’ Edwin Hammoo: Drums



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